I am a student at in Uru Mānuka. In 2020 I was a year 8 and in 2021 I will be a year 9. This is a place where I will be able to share my learning with you. Please note....some work won't be edited - just my first drafts, so there may be some surface errors. I would love your feedback, comments, thoughts and ideas.
My grandad’s dog is called Tessa. She is black and she is fluffy.Tessa is a puppy. She loves to eats dog roll and biscuits.She likes to play inside and out.
Hi Logan, I'm Miro from Awahono School Grey Valley. I really like your description about your granddads dog because you describe what she looks like and what she likes to eat and do. Maybe you could start your sentences differently like instead of she you could say Tessa or her, for example you could say " Her fur is black and fluffy."
Hi Logan I am Hunter and I like your little story . I think you should make the story a bit longer like adding more thing the dog likes to do.I hope you keep on writing.
Please structure your comments as follows: Positive - Something done well. Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say. Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or Ask a question you want to know more about.
Hi Logan, I'm Miro from Awahono School Grey Valley. I really like your description about your granddads dog because you describe what she looks like and what she likes to eat and do. Maybe you could start your sentences differently like instead of she you could say Tessa or her, for example you could say " Her fur is black and fluffy."
ReplyDeleteHi Logan I am Hunter and I like your little story . I think you should make the story a bit longer like adding more thing the dog likes to do.I hope you keep on writing.
ReplyDelete